The
Unique Journey of Grief
Reflections of a Hospital Chaplain
¨
No one likes to talk about death. Everyone needs
to.
¨ Tears and laughter, sorrow and joy: God’s
reminders of the richness of love.
¨ Dealing with grief can bring out the worst—and
the best— in families.
¨ The brutal reality of death is salved by shared
stories of earlier days.
¨ Grieving is a process, one that takes time.
And then some more time.
¨ The more significant the relationship, the
deeper the wound, the longer the healing.
¨ Grief is common to all, but unique to you.
There is no “right” way to grieve, only
your way.
¨ Death of a loved one offers an opportunity
to consider one’s own mortality.
¨ Eventually, faithfulness to the deceased demands
re-engagement with life.
¨ Getting over grief is impossible. . . getting
through grief isn’t.
¨ Sometimes the best gift offered to one grieving
is simply: “I’m willing to talk about
anything, anytime.”
¨ Rituals create communities and offer comfort.
Avoiding rituals robs us of needed companionship.
¨ Faith in God doesn’t lessen the pain
of loss. It does, however, provide direction, meaning,
and hope.
¨ Fellow grievers share a language which outsiders
cannot understand.
¨ Those who try to talk you out of your grief
are not evil—just insecure.
¨ Significant dates will always remain significant,
and deserve to be honored in some way.
¨ Those who do not—or cannot—fully
grieve are destined to unexpected bouts of anger,
depression, and sadness further down the road.
¨ There is no fast forward button for getting
through grief.
¨ Keeping it together emotionally for the sake
of others exacts an exorbitant price on griever’s
emotional well being.
¨ Being in grief is not being crazy. It just
feels like it.
Virgil Fry
